Coming into a new year,
We tend to write lists of everything we want to complete.
Of all the things we want to change,
We want to do,
Of who we want to become.
I have goals I’ve written down,
I have ideas of changes I want to make,
But I am also coming to see that there is more to life then living for New Year Resolutions.
(I know that’s cliché and we’ve heard that statement time and time again.)
But I find New Year Resolutions are based on huge things rather than daily living and that’s why I want to get rid of the idea of trying to change once a year rather than everyday.
Most of all, there is far more to life than always saying rather than doing.
What I do is far more important than just the words I say or the dreams I speak of.
My life consists of my everyday actions.
Of the choices I make every day in how I live, how I speak, what I do with my day and how others feel when I walk away from being with them.
That is what makes life and looking back over the past year and years,
That is what has made each day feel rich,
Even the hard ones,
Even the sad ones, the ones where I’ve woken up with a hole in my heart, with memories that flooded in and reminded me of times I’ve tried to shake, of faces I wish we’re still beside me and of moments I try to close my eyes too.
But above all those things, I am grateful…oh so grateful that I have come to know of a God who is greater than those things.
Who holds me even in my brokenness, in my heartbreak, in those memories where although I know I don’t need to regret them – they still hurt, and they are still real.
He has shown me that He can redeem even the worst of mistakes, that He can teach us to receive His forgiveness and in return forgive ourselves and others.
He has shown me that through holding all things, I can let them go.
I can let go of the heartbreak, although not pushing it aside and neglecting to deal with it – but rather, coming face to face with the memories that hurt, and realizing that they only have the hold on me which I allow.
Coming to terms with the lies I have believed all my life about myself; that I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not capable of doing anything worth anything, that I’m not loveable, that I’m not pretty enough or thin enough.
And finally being set free from those.
Because I chose and continue to choose that what my Father in Heaven has to say about me is worth more than any of those things.
And with all that being said, it has brought me to this;
To not take a day as just a day,
To sleep in and throw it away,
To groan thinking about another day and things that have to be done.
But rather seeing it as a beautiful day for something beautiful to happen.
To see that above all else, my life is a choice and it is what I make it.
The Lord Jesus has brought life to my life, He has opened my eyes to see the fullness of life He created it to be – but it is a choice, every day to choose Him and choose to believe that.
Not every day has to be glamorous and eventful,
But everyday should count – in your own eyes.
I have come to realize something important for me this year;
I am not living for another person other than the Lord.
What my life looks like in regards to others, doesn’t matter.
In the sense of the car I drive, the newest thing I bought, or how much weight I’ve lost.
My life to me is so rich because of the things I have chosen to fill it with.
To find joy in waking up early before others, because I genuinely love feeling like I am the only one awake in the world – drinking coffee, walking my dog, watching the sunrise.
To take a moment through the day to breathe, to remind myself why I am doing what I am doing and thank the Lord for this moment, this day, this life.
To be humbled when I become selfish – so daily coming to see that there are people around me who matter, who deserve my attention, and who need to be loved – just like I do.
To walk when it seems easier to run, to listen to my loved ones when they need to talk, to drop my ‘to-do’ lost to do something that is really more important and to realize that I can work my butt off, everyday 24/7 and there will always be more work- but not always moments to sit, to enjoy company, to look at the beautiful sunset, the stars shinning above, the glistening of the snow, horses eating hay happily, a bird singing because of the beautiful song they have.
To dance because it makes me feel good, to cry when I need too and to talk to others when I know I can’t do life alone.
I am not writing this to tell you how to live your life or to say that I have ‘found the way to live the best life.’
Because I haven’t and I daily mess up.
I become discontent easily, I run way more often than I should and wear myself out.
I lose sight of how important the people around me are and become selfish with my time and impatient with them.
The only thing I have found that is worth anything of value, is the one whom by His graciousness has redeemed my life and shown me the beauty He has placed around me, even when its hard to see the good in it.
God has continued to show me the things that truly matter in this life because when I started placing other things in high value such as my body, appearances, material things, my job, things have begun to fall apart and I had nothing to stand on.
That through coming to see the temporary happiness everything else would bring me, I came to find the true joy He brings when I accept that He is worth more than anything else.
This year is what you make of it,
The more you live for what others think,
The amount of likes you have on Instagram,
The comments you get from others,
The way you look in the mirror,
The most unhappy you will become.
Because that doesn’t add any richness to your life – rather it takes it away.
The moments where you are able to see all that is before you, regardless of what it looks like to others, is all that matters.
The moments where you can look at the people around you and smile because they love you for who you are.
The moment you come to realize that the world only has the hold you allow it to on you, is the moment when you are truly free to enjoy each moment.
Because you are no longer trying to find approval within a corrupted world.
A world whose standards is based on nothing but surface level riches.
This year, may it be one where you grow in love.
Where you become more hopeful of the day ahead of you.
Where you start to do little things each day that will make you and others smile.
A year where you start to become you.
Who you were truly created to be;
With all your quirks and uniqueness.
With all your flaws and failures.
Come with it all into this New Year.
Not trying to put on a façade,
But rather taking confidence in who you are,
In all that you have to offer this world.
And each day, embracing it.
Not always needing acknowledgment from others, but realizing that this life is truly about becoming more like Christ.
Having a heart that comes before Him, willing to change, willing to grow, willing to be challenged and be filled – rather than breaking trying to be good enough for the worlds eyes, to find into a mould, to try to be ‘liked’ by people you don’t even know.
You are more than your body, for your body is just to mobilize your beautiful soul.
We are living for eternity , not just to survive this world and to me that is a oh so beautiful thought.
You have a beautiful life to live.
One that goes day by day and how you live in each moment, dictates how your life will go.
May our gracious God show you His love for you and open your eyes to see that in your everyday.
May this day be a great start to a wonderful season where you are able to start by changing how you think, how you treat others, how you embrace the good and the bad.
Life will never go how you expect it, but as I’ve found, if you fix your eyes upon God, you will begin to be amazed by all the beauty you can see even when it doesn’t go as planned.