Let me introduce you to Yogi.
He is one of the sweetest horses.
He will stand as kids stick their fingers in his mouth,
As they crowd around him so they can have a turn to brush his dark chestnut coat,
And he is one of the few that will come to greet you out in the field.
However I’ve come to realize in the past few days that he is a lot like me
And a lot like you.
Yogi is fearful.
It has been an ongoing issue since he has come that he doesn’t like being saddled or when trying to get on him.
I have thought of various training techniques through the past few months to work through this problem and there were a few points were I had enough.
Although I have seen much improvement with him, it wasn’t enough to give me much hope in this beautiful horse.
Was I willing to get hurt trying to fix this horse’s fear? What if he never comes out of it? What if I am just wasting my time?
Up until last week, I wondered why he does what he does and how to stop him from continuing to do it.
Because with him reacting the way he does, there is no way camp will keep him but a slimmer chance that anyone else would want him.
Last week as I saddled him up and did a few things before I stood up in one stirrup to get him to backup before hoping on him, he did his usual routine.
I stepped down as he reared and crow hopped around the arena.
I turn my back to him once he quit,
I turned because I was out of ideas. I was done with trying to fix a horse that seemed to always go back to his old ways.
I stood tired and out of idea’s.
But as I stood with my back turned, I heard him walk towards me.
He was shaking and breathing heavily as he nervously walked up to me from across the arena.
I turned to face him as I stroked his forehead.
“He is so fearful.” I thought as I watched his body shake nervously.
I realized that just like him, I run from the things that scare me.
When similar things begin to happen to me that happened in the past, I react out of fear.
I get nervous, I get fearful that the same thing will happen.
The Lord showed me through that moment, how fearful I am of similar things happening that I miss out on the beautiful things He is offering me.
He is showing me that I need to trust in Him, just like Yogi will need to come to trust in me.
Yogi needs to trust that I won’t treat him how he was in the past, that there is nothing to be scared about and the very thing that he is using to protect himself, isn’t needed anymore.
I have been humbled to see that I am just like this horse.
I pray over most of the horses I work with and have come to realize that I should be praying those very things over myself.
That my mind would be renewed, that all that I am fearful of would be diminished in the light of Our Fathers loving embrace.
For as we come to trust in the Lord rather than ourselves, we will see that reacting how we do out of fear, is not helping.
How I react out of fear is different than how you may react, but regardless, when we react in fear, we aren’t living in faith.
It is hindering us from growing, being who we were created to be and knowing who we are through Jesus Christ.
For just like this little gelding, I continue to let what has happened in the past, leave me scarred rather than healed.
And although it all takes time in allowing our minds to be renewed and learning to trust in God, I can say that it is beautiful when we no longer react out of fear but when we look in faith to the only One who can save us.
When we stand in faith even when trembling rather than going back to the very things that won’t help out fear but make it worse.
Whether we run to addictions, habits or into hiding, none of those things will heal our brokenness, will restore what was lost or remove that fear within our hearts.
But when we look to the author and creator of our lives and are willing to trust in Him rather than ourselves, we find that fear no longer controls us. We find we no longer need to run back to those things we used to hide our fears or protect ourselves with because we found the One whom is our refugee, our peace and our Savior.
For when we are able to live in trust and faith, fear no longer has grips on us.
Our lives are no longer held to the memories or addictions, that for so long have kept us from living a fulfilled life in Jesus.
We are able to come to embrace the truth, when Jesus says, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32
And this is why I wanted you to meet Yogi.
To see that you too are no longer held to the fears you have.
For once, you are able to let them go, and rather than running from the fear and going back to old habits, addictions or other things you are able to turn into face the One who is asking for trust and offering you more than what we once ran too.
He is offering you a life of freedom.
How beautiful is that.
May you come to trust in Him;
Trust that the One who holds the universe, who holds all things, is holding you.
To trust that He is for you, He loves you and He will never leave you nor forsake you.
To trust that what He has to offer us is far better than continuing to live in the fear that binds us.
To trust that He will give you far greater fulfillment than those things you run too out of fear.
And that is amazing grace, that is beauty in it’s deepest form, that is love.
Knowing that we no longer have to be slaves to fear but free through faith in Jesus Christ.
And I say this humbled that I too have a lot to learn,
Just like Yogi needs to trust in me, to see that what I am offering is a far better life than the one he has if he continues to react out of fear; I must come to trust in my Lord and Savior rather than myself.
But He is patient, He is kind, He is loving and slow to anger.
And no matter how many times I may react out of fear, He stands there, waiting for me to come back to Him.
And He does the same for you.
“So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.”