Finding Hope in Hoplessness

We all face difficult times in our life. We all come to a crossroad at one point or another. And the questions begin to flood in, “what do I do?” “what do I choose?” “how do I make the best decision?”

In my life, I’ve faced a few crossroads and at one point, I used to worry about what to choose, what to do, how to get out of the situation, how to mend broken relationships or throw on the back burner things in my own heart that were surfacing that I didn’t want to deal with. And as I sought myself to answer those questions, it left me hopeless, confused and lost. As I truly did not know what to do. I didn’t know what was best for myself, no matter how much I wanted to act like I did. I was and am just a kid, trying to learn and grow. Now I have learned that in doing so, learning to grow up, we will face hard decisions-and those decisions and choices do matter. For in those choices, we direct the steps of our lives. 1e95fbf7811e6925001502f76eb6c080

However now, I am learning to not ask myself those questions but bring them to Jesus and ask Him what I should do, what He desires from me, and asking if He can help me mend my brokneness. I have realized that in my life, there is nothing I can do alone-for anything I do without God-will soon fall apart of left unfixed. I believe in that whole-heartily, for there was much in my life that I left alone and it didn’t get better it only got worse. There was much I tried to fix in my own life and soon or later, it crumbled because there was nothing actually holding it together.

I think what helped me and helps me overcome problems, challenges and hurts is realizing I no longer wanted them. That I accepted my weakness as a person but the strength of Christ in me. For I no longer want to try to solve my own problems, but I want to seek Him to solve them through me and bring about His perfect, peacable will and plans. I said no to agreeing with lies about myself, life, God and others. I said bye to all that was hindering me from God beccause I experienced life without God and now that I realized who He is and how desperatly I need Him-I realized if there was anything/is anything in my life that may seperate me from living in the fullness of lif e Jesus died for me to have, I do not want it. I agreed to not cover up pains or hurts but to deal with them, to allow Jesus to heal my heart from the inside. I agreed to walk through tough times of mending my brokeness and broken relationships so that I could live in freedom. I said yes to Jesus, I said yes to seeking His guidance and walking with Him through even the little things in life. I pray that if you have no had a revelation of the love of God that through this you will, and He will meet you where you are, whatever you are doing and reveal Himself to you in a new understanding.

For I simply chose to open up my eyes, to accept what needed to be changed in me and my life because I no longer wanted to live in a life-choking circle. Trying to fit into a mould of the world that didn’t add to my life but took my life away. I came to realize that drinking and drugs did not enhance my life, actually started tearing down my life. It did not bring true joy and happiness but moments and nights of numbness in which I was able to feel “happy” because I didn’t have to deal with my own brokeness. But if I can say anything, after recongnizing my brokeness and accepting Jesus, I desperatly needed Him. For He began to heal me of all my hurt, pains, bitterness and bring me into a life of wholeness, of freeom and of joy. Now even through difficult times and tough situations, I trust in Him. For He is faithful and He will never leave us but rather walk before us preparing the way for us to succeed in Him.

“The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.” Isaiah 58:11

I choose to no longer live in ignorance to my problems or hoping that one day they will just go away. For they won’t. For anything to be fixed, we must chose to walk away from where we are and into the light. For although light may be blinding and painful as it reveals areas of our lives, we feel we don’t want to give up, allow Him to fix or talk about-He will help us walk through those darkest areas and bring forth healing and reconciliation.

We have to choose to release that which is trying to attach itself to us and take away the value and quality of our life. For the things we become so consumed with, do not make the quality of our life better-they give us moments of satisfaction but once done-they leave us empty, longing and seeking for something else to fill that void. I was once there and Jesus was what my heart was seeking and that missing void in my life and continually He fills that, reminding me that in Him, I have life and have it abunandtly. I am no longer lost seeking a way, for I have found The Way. I am no longer chained down in lies from others, myself or the devil for I have found The Truth. I no longer live feeling deal inside for I am alive as I have found The Life.

“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6

No matter what you are dealing with, going through, facing or how broken and lost you feel. There is a way and He is Jesus. First we must choose to no longer allow the vicious cycle we feel caught in control us anymore. We need to take a step away from what we are used to-to grab a hold of better.

For at one point, I felt I was in a black hole, so desperatly trying to climb out, but I could never do it. I would always fall back in, or trip, or stumble. Then I called out for help, I called to Jesus and He threw a rope down-not only that, but He pulled me out, once I grabbed ahold of what He was offering. We can call to God all we want for help, but once we do, we have to believe He is throwing us that rope to get out, but before we get out of the hole we are in, we must grab a hold of what He has offere us to get out. For me that was a missions trip to Africa but for you that could be no longer doing the thing you keep doing, going to church and making friends that can uplift and support you.

Changes takes perservance and God’s grace. And I pray that whatever you may be feeling, going through, facing-that the grace of God would abound over you. That He will shine His light upon you and reveal His goodness and love for you. May as you seek Him, you find Him and in doing so, choose Him and no longer yourself.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices: my flesh also shall rest in hope. For you will not leave my soul in hell; neither will you suffer your Holy One to see corruption. You will show me the path of life: in your presence is fullness of joy; at your right hand there are pleasures for ever more.
Psalm 16:9-11

When you find yourself at that crossroad, choose The Way, that leads to The Truth which brings Life. Jesus’ blood reaches you, no matter how far you feel you’ve fallen. Nothing can seperate you from His love and His grace. His redemption and salvation is for you. You are worthy of His life and He will help you if you choose to abide in Him through the purifying process. Which isn’t easy to go through, but brings forth new life-life of abundance, life of joy, hope, peace and love.

Yu’re life does not have to seem out of control or worthless. For you have a choice to take a hold of it and make better choices. No matter how tough they may seem, you can make it out and there is light at the end of the tunnel. If I could make it out and be who I am today, then you know you have hope. For I am only how I am by the grace of God. My life is a miracle and God is the only one to be glorfied for me-no man, not even myself. I could have never become who I am without His love, mercy, forgviness and grace. He loves you just as much and desires you to choose Him-to recieve His life to the fullest.

You are loved. You are valued and whatever you are going through-there is hope and you are not alone.

‘“The Lord bless you
and keep you;
 the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
 the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.”’

Number 6:24-26


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